Self Esteem

I am a black beautiful African girl, I am on the plump side probably because for me now the word diet doesn't exist... I don't have perfect teeth but i have a perfect smile... I am alot goofy, way too cheeky, atleast that's what i'm told (Gloria oba you meant my big cheeks, hmmmm). I am basically just your run-of-the-mill average, not so average girl.

However before i was all the above, before i accepted myself, i was a mess, both physically and emotionally and thats what this post is about, self esteem and how it affects us, rather how low esteem affected me.

Growing up, i was just your normal everyday girl.. However when i hit puberty, i started seeing all these novels, magazines and movies all of which clearly defined what beauty was and it was; clear skin, thin bodies, tiny waist, perfect face and oh maaaan the perfection of these ladies, you just couldn't compare or compete. I think, though, it was all designed in a way to make you want to be like those ladies. And the fact that I couldn't measure up to such standards of beauty made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

I would look at these actresses, models and artists and then I would look at me, and I would feel sad, mad at myself for not being like those ladies and mad at God for making me that way.

And the boys..........oh those mean little boys who gravitated to those beautiful people in school making me feel even worse, even though I pretended not to care. I became so mad at me that I started to eat a lot because I was frustrated. And I started to call myself ugly. I wanted so much for someone to tell me that I'm beautiful but alas it never happened, so I would cry and basically feel sorry for myself and hated myself.
That is low self esteem for you.

We females have that issue of comparison and all of us have fallen prey to this, yes, even those who suffer from apparent high self esteem.

Its still a struggle everyday to look at myself and see a beautiful woman but I keep on reminding myself that I am the art and God is the paint, I am the canvas and He is the painter and He is a perfect God, since I am His creation therefore I am perfect too.
After reading Psalms 139, I started to realize just how much God values me... When I started to look at myself through God's eyes to know that I'm fearfully and wonderfully made....

The problem of self esteem I believe affects most of us and we can go to pretty disastrous lengths just to hear some say they value us and that we are beautiful.
We look at the TV and we copy those beautiful people because in our minds if we look like them, therefore we can be like them.
Here is my word to you........YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE BECAUSE GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES